340 Dating Excuses
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I feel lucky >
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I'm sorry, I'm actually 13. |
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I wouldn't want my jealous boyfriend to see us together, he can get a little violent. |
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I'm sorry, my kids get jealous for my attention when I go out on dates. |
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I wouldn't want my jealous girlfriend to see us together, she can get a little psycho. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm busy preparing for Jesus' imminent return. |
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I just want to be friends. |
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I don't want to have sex, I just washed the sheets! |
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I'm sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't date anyone until Justin Bieber hits puberty. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my son thought it would be funny to siphon my gas. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my son thought it would be funny to let the air out of my tires. |
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I'm won't be able to make it, I accidentally left my car keys in the pants I sent to the cleaners. |
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I won't be able to make it, someone kicked me in the groin and I'm in a lot of pain! |
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I won't be able to make it, I fell out of a tree trying to rescue an adorable kitten. |
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I won't be able to make it, I can't find parking. |
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I won't be able to make it, I fell off a ladder and twisted my ankle. |
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I'm sorry, my last date was so bad that I've sworn off dating altogether. |
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But we just had sex LAST month! |
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We can't have sex, I'm allergic to latex condoms. |
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I won't be able to make it, someone stole my clothes from the laundromat! |
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I can't go out with you that night, it's laundry day and I'll have nothing to wear! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to fix my leaky bathroom pipes. |
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Sorry, I gave you up for lent. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have leprosy. |
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You look too much like my father for me to consider dating. |
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You look too much like my mother for me to consider dating. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to call the police to remove a creepy man lingering outside of my house. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I couldn't find the building! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I forgot where I parked my car. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my contacts. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my glasses. |
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I won't be able to make it, I lost my toothbrush and I had garlic for breakfast. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my wallet. |
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I don't want to have sex, I've already masturbated today. |
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I have other, as-yet-unspecified plans I'm sure will materialize in due time. |
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I'm not coming, I hate people. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I missed the bus. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I missed my flight. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I missed the train. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got lost in the fog and missed the turn. |
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I won't be able to make it, there's mold growing around my house and it's making me sick. |
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I only date fellow Mormons. |
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I'm sorry, I'll be busy moving that weekend. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I was mugged on my way here! |
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My mugshot has an appointment with the morning news. You'll understand when you see. |
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We can't have sex, my room has been bugged and I don't want them watching us. |
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We can't have sex, I have some sort of mysterious discharge. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I just moved here and I'm still unfamiliar with the area. |
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I won't be able to make it, I think my new piercing is infected. |
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I won't be able to make it, my new tattoo needs time to heal. |
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You want to have sex? NO. |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 | Follow On Twitter |
The Store |
I feel lucky >
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