288 Absent Excuses
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The Store |
I feel lucky >
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I won't be able to make it, it's hailing outside! |
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I tried to dye my hair yesterday... Let's just say I need today off to get it fixed! |
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I'd love to go to your Halloween party, but I don't have a costume. |
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You scared me so badly at your Halloween party last year that I'm not sure I want to go back. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a massive hangover. |
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I'm sorry I can't come to your Christmas party, I'll be busy at a Hanukkah celebration. |
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I'm sorry I have to cancel our meeting, one of my other clients' hard drive crashed! |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a splitting headache. |
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I already have a headache. |
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I won't be able to make it, I sprained my neck headbanging at a metal show last night. |
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I know it sounds like a raging kegger in the background. Weird how heart surgery can sound like that |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm suffering from heatstroke. |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, the mafia was after me and I needed to disappear. |
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I won't be able to make it, a car hit me as I was crossing the street. |
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I won't be able to make it, my horse bit me hard. |
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I won't be able to make it, I spilled hot coffee in my lap this morning. |
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I have to leave, my alarm company called and said I'm being robbed! |
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I'm sorry, I'm house sitting for a friend that day. |
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You want me to come in to work? How much is it worth to you? Six dollars an hour? Okay. |
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I forgot what I was saying. |
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I WAS at work today. The question is why you only notice me enough NOW to ask why I wasn't at work. |
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I'm not coming to church, I've seen the darkness and I've converted to Satanism. |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I've been in jail on false charges and I just got acquitted. |
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I'm celebrating International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I have to pillage a few villages. |
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Why am I staying home today? Well, this way I can surf Internet porn without offending anyone. |
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I won't be able to make it, I've been sentenced to jail. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm busy preparing for Jesus' imminent return. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm busy learning some John Mayer songs to impress my girlfriend. |
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I'm sorry I missed my shift, I thought you meant July 29 on the Julian calendar, not Gregorian. |
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I'm won't be able to make it, I accidentally left my car keys in the pants I sent to the cleaners. |
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I won't be able to make it, someone kicked me in the groin and I'm in a lot of pain! |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I was kidnapped and I just escaped! |
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I won't be able to make it, I fell out of a tree trying to rescue an adorable kitten. |
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I won't be able to make it, I can't find parking. |
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I won't be able to make it, I fell off a ladder and twisted my ankle. |
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I can't come to work -- I'm having a Lady Gaga moment. |
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I won't be able to make it, someone stole my clothes from the laundromat! |
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I won't be able to make it, I have leprosy. |
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I fell into the lion cage at the zoo yesterday and I need today off to get stitches. |
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No thanks, I always get lonely at Valentine's parties. |
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I won't be able to make it, I lost my toothbrush and I had garlic for breakfast. |
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I've lost my voice, so I won't be able to make it today. |
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I can't make it, I lost my wallet and I have to spend today at the DMV getting a new license. |
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I think I've got lumbago. It feels just like a hangover, oddly enough. |
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I'm not coming to church, I listen to Marilyn Manson. |
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I'm sorry, but my husband is threatening divorce if I don't spend more time with him. |
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I'm sorry, but my wife is threatening divorce if I don't spend more time with her. |
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I have other, as-yet-unspecified plans I'm sure will materialize in due time. |
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Help. I'm being mauled slowly by a very quiet, gentle bear. Help. Please. |
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I'm not coming to church as long as someone like Mel Gibson can call himself a Christian. |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 | Follow On Twitter |
The Store |
I feel lucky >
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