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288 Absent Excuses

Sorry I didn't make it to work. It was rained out. By "it" I mean my enthusiasm. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'm feeling a little dizzy from fasting for Ramadan. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I have a rash. Even there? ESPECIALLY there. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I woke up with a strange rash this morning and I need today off to get it checked out. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
It's not that I don't like to work. On the other hand, no other excuse readily presents itself. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I've been absent, I finally checked myself into rehab. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my dad is finally returning from a tour in Iraq! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my husband just returned from a tour in Iraq! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Everyone tells me I should take more risks, so I tried skydiving and I broke my leg. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I just found out that I'm Persian royalty, so I won't be coming to work for a while. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be in today, I'm taking a short sabbatical. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Uh, I hope YOU didn't eat the salmon mousse too! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'll be in as soon as I apply just a little bit more soothing talcum powder to my scabies. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry, I have class that night. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I could tell you why I was absent, but then I'd have to kill you. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it today, I just had a seizure and I need to rest for a while. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Look at it this way: I'm sparing you my daily 10% chance of sparking a sexual harassment lawsuit. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I just ate shellfish and I think I'm allergic. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I didn't know I had that shift. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my good shirt shrunk in the wash! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I have to clean my shower grout. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
My sick days were feeling neglected. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I know I don't sound sick over the phone. But the job sounded good on paper, so it kinda evens out. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'm having bad side effects from my new medicine. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I can sit around and drink coffee and do not much of anything in my home just fine, thanks. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, a skunk sprayed me as I was walking to my car. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I accidentally took my sleeping pills instead of my vitamins. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
There's a rattlesnake hiding in my lawn, and I'm afraid it'll bite me if I leave for my car. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'm snowed in to my house. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I wanted to stay home today and indulge my fantasy of being a stay-at-home soap opera critic. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
You know, for just one day I'd like to have a little piece of my soul not die. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I need a day off to reflect on my life and truly find myself. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I could go through the motions of sounding sick, but I respect your intelligence enough to just lie. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Someone must have put something in my drink last night, I've been groggy and nauseous this morning. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I was absent yesterday, I just started puberty. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Listen, I've been shooting 'roids and reading Ayn Rand all morning. I think I should stay home today Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I've been absent, I had my kidneys stolen and sold on the black market. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
You'll never believe me, but my tardiness involves a bottle of Stoli and a defective Thighmaster. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Listen, I'd love to sit in a cube farm all day, but I have a stranger's funeral to go to. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm on strike against school. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm on strike against work. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I went to Tijuana this weekend but I forgot my passport to get back in! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
My friend is stuck in Mexico without a passport, so I need today off to bring it to him. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
My friend is stuck in Canada without a passport, so I need today off to bring it to him. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry, I have a huge exam coming up and I need to study. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my friend is about to jump and I need to talk him down. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'm too sunburnt to go out in public. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I can't make it, I accidentally left my sunroof open all night and the rain flooded my car. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I was playing with superglue and now I'm attached to the wall. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my son was playing with superglue and now I'm attached to the wall. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook

What's your excuse?


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