288 Absent Excuses
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Sorry I didn't make it to work. It was rained out. By "it" I mean my enthusiasm. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm feeling a little dizzy from fasting for Ramadan. |
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I woke up with a strange rash this morning and I need today off to get it checked out. |
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I have a rash. Even there? ESPECIALLY there. |
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It's not that I don't like to work. On the other hand, no other excuse readily presents itself. |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I finally checked myself into rehab. |
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I won't be able to make it, my dad is finally returning from a tour in Iraq! |
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I won't be able to make it, my husband just returned from a tour in Iraq! |
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Everyone tells me I should take more risks, so I tried skydiving and I broke my leg. |
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I just found out that I'm Persian royalty, so I won't be coming to work for a while. |
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I won't be in today, I'm taking a short sabbatical. |
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Uh, I hope YOU didn't eat the salmon mousse too! |
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I'll be in as soon as I apply just a little bit more soothing talcum powder to my scabies. |
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I'm sorry, I have class that night. |
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I could tell you why I was absent, but then I'd have to kill you. |
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I won't be able to make it today, I just had a seizure and I need to rest for a while. |
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Look at it this way: I'm sparing you my daily 10% chance of sparking a sexual harassment lawsuit. |
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I won't be able to make it, I just ate shellfish and I think I'm allergic. |
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I didn't know I had that shift. |
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I won't be able to make it, my good shirt shrunk in the wash! |
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I won't be able to make it, I have to clean my shower grout. |
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My sick days were feeling neglected. |
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I know I don't sound sick over the phone. But the job sounded good on paper, so it kinda evens out. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm having bad side effects from my new medicine. |
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I can sit around and drink coffee and do not much of anything in my home just fine, thanks. |
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I won't be able to make it, a skunk sprayed me as I was walking to my car. |
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I won't be able to make it, I accidentally took my sleeping pills instead of my vitamins. |
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There's a rattlesnake hiding in my lawn, and I'm afraid it'll bite me if I leave for my car. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm snowed in to my house. |
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I wanted to stay home today and indulge my fantasy of being a stay-at-home soap opera critic. |
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You know, for just one day I'd like to have a little piece of my soul not die. |
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I need a day off to reflect on my life and truly find myself. |
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I could go through the motions of sounding sick, but I respect your intelligence enough to just lie. |
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Someone must have put something in my drink last night, I've been groggy and nauseous this morning. |
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I'm sorry I was absent yesterday, I just started puberty. |
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Listen, I've been shooting 'roids and reading Ayn Rand all morning. I think I should stay home today |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I had my kidneys stolen and sold on the black market. |
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You'll never believe me, but my tardiness involves a bottle of Stoli and a defective Thighmaster. |
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Listen, I'd love to sit in a cube farm all day, but I have a stranger's funeral to go to. |
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I'm on strike against school. |
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I'm on strike against work. |
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I won't be able to make it, I went to Tijuana this weekend but I forgot my passport to get back in! |
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My friend is stuck in Mexico without a passport, so I need today off to bring it to him. |
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My friend is stuck in Canada without a passport, so I need today off to bring it to him. |
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I'm sorry, I have a huge exam coming up and I need to study. |
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I won't be able to make it, my friend is about to jump and I need to talk him down. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm too sunburnt to go out in public. |
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I can't make it, I accidentally left my sunroof open all night and the rain flooded my car. |
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I won't be able to make it, I was playing with superglue and now I'm attached to the wall. |
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I won't be able to make it, my son was playing with superglue and now I'm attached to the wall. |
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