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288 Absent Excuses

Oh, I totally forgot to mention I'm secretly a superhero and my dead-end office job is just a ruse. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I just really need some me time. Some me and the Spice Channel and Tequiza time, to be exact. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'm behind on my taxes and they're due today. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm taking a day off from school today, I figure I've tortured you enough for one week. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I have a temperature of 106. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I quit! For about the next eight hours, anyway. See you tomorrow! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I need a day off to recover from my terrible ordeal. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'd love to come to your Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm trying to watch my weight. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be coming in today, I have to stay home to Tivo the finale of my favorite soap. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm not coming to church, Tom Cruise has shown me the light of Scientology. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'll be in late today. Really late. So late it might seem like tomorrow morning. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm not coming to your Thanksgiving party because I'm too chicken. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I can't go to church, I have Tourette's and I shout obscene words on a regular basis. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry, I work for a traveling circus and we'll be gone by then. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I wasn't absent yesterday, it was my identical twin! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I've been absent, I recently developed a condition where I sprout thick fur from my face. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'll be on vacation in Bermuda. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'll be on vacation in London. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'll be on a vacation in my mind. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'll be on vacation in Vancouver. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I've got big plans! Big, vague plans. Big, vague plans that are suddenly withering to your questions. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I was bitten by a vampire, so the day shift is out of the question. Night shift? Maybe. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm vegetarian and my friend pranked me by putting meat in my food, so now I'm too sick to work. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
If I see that cubicle, I'll vomicle. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
By not coming into the office today, I'm supporting the war on error. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry, that's the night I water my plants. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
AAACH BOSS CAN'T COME IN ARRGH TURNING INTO WEREWOLF AROOOO! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm busy that night, I have to help someone with their whatchamacallit. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Sorry I won't be in today. You're really into this whole work thing, aren't you? Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
You may ask why I was absent. I'd rather ask, "why not?" Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Let's be honest. I'm Wiccan. People don't like me anyway. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I can't come to church now, I have a witch burning in an hour! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
There's something in the office I think I'm allergic to. I think it's the work. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I worked late last night working on this excuse. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'll be busy at the World Communist Convention plotting ways to overthrow bourgeoisie, like you. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Boss can you hear me yeah sorry about the noise yeah spacetime wormhole thing going on here. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be coming to school today, my hand still cramps from writing yesterday's essay. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
You'll never believe what happened! And you shouldn't either, cause I'm about to make it up. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook

What's your excuse?


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