288 Absent Excuses
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I feel lucky >
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Oh, I totally forgot to mention I'm secretly a superhero and my dead-end office job is just a ruse. |
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I just really need some me time. Some me and the Spice Channel and Tequiza time, to be exact. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm behind on my taxes and they're due today. |
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I'm taking a day off from school today, I figure I've tortured you enough for one week. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a temperature of 106. |
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I quit! For about the next eight hours, anyway. See you tomorrow! |
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I need a day off to recover from my terrible ordeal. |
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I'd love to come to your Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm trying to watch my weight. |
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I won't be coming in today, I have to stay home to Tivo the finale of my favorite soap. |
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I'm not coming to church, Tom Cruise has shown me the light of Scientology. |
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I'll be in late today. Really late. So late it might seem like tomorrow morning. |
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I'm not coming to your Thanksgiving party because I'm too chicken. |
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I can't go to church, I have Tourette's and I shout obscene words on a regular basis. |
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I'm sorry, I work for a traveling circus and we'll be gone by then. |
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I wasn't absent yesterday, it was my identical twin! |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I recently developed a condition where I sprout thick fur from my face. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'll be on vacation in Bermuda. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'll be on vacation in London. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'll be on a vacation in my mind. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'll be on vacation in Vancouver. |
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I've got big plans! Big, vague plans. Big, vague plans that are suddenly withering to your questions. |
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I was bitten by a vampire, so the day shift is out of the question. Night shift? Maybe. |
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I'm vegetarian and my friend pranked me by putting meat in my food, so now I'm too sick to work. |
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If I see that cubicle, I'll vomicle. |
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By not coming into the office today, I'm supporting the war on error. |
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I'm sorry, that's the night I water my plants. |
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AAACH BOSS CAN'T COME IN ARRGH TURNING INTO WEREWOLF AROOOO! |
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I'm busy that night, I have to help someone with their whatchamacallit. |
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Sorry I won't be in today. … You're really into this whole work thing, aren't you? |
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You may ask why I was absent. I'd rather ask, "why not?" |
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Let's be honest. I'm Wiccan. People don't like me anyway. |
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I can't come to church now, I have a witch burning in an hour! |
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There's something in the office I think I'm allergic to. I think it's the work. |
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I worked late last night working on this excuse. |
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I'll be busy at the World Communist Convention plotting ways to overthrow bourgeoisie, like you. |
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Boss can you hear me yeah sorry about the noise yeah spacetime wormhole thing going on here. |
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I won't be coming to school today, my hand still cramps from writing yesterday's essay. |
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You'll never believe what happened! And you shouldn't either, cause I'm about to make it up. |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 | Follow On Twitter |
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