358 School Excuses
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I feel lucky >
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I'm sorry I'm late, Starbucks had a long wait. |
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My computer crashed and deleted my essay! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I've been constipated. |
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I wasn't sleeping, I was contemplating my navel. |
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COUGH COUGH SNORK COUGH SNORT KAFF HORRRRRRK SNORRT KAFF! There. Any questions? |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good blouse. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good dress. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good pants. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good shirt. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, a creepy old man followed me onto the bus and it took forever to lose him. |
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My parents are divorced, and I left my homework at my dad's house. |
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I've been too upset about the genocide in Darfur to focus on my homework. |
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I thought I had today off! |
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I'm not late, I'm observing Daylight Savings Time early. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my battery died last night and I had to jumpstart my car. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my battery died on my way here and I had to call a tow truck. |
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Sorry I was late. I was being trained by Obi Wan Kenobi how to eventually take out the Death Star. |
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I'm not sleeping, I'm just thinking about the last thing you said. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, a deer jumped in front of my car and I swerved off the road. |
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I won't be able to make it, I ran out of deodorant. |
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I won't be able to make it, I've been deported. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my usual route was closed for maintenance and I got lost finding my way here. |
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I'm sorry about my homework, I've been devolving to the point where I hardly understand basic math. |
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I couldn't finish my reading homework, I'm still working on Dick and Jane! |
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I started my homework, but it was too hard so I gave up. |
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What? You expect me to come in on Disaffected Proletariat Day? Well, it's on MY calendar. |
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I have to leave early, I have a doctor appointment at 4:15. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my dog crapped in my shoe. |
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My dog ate my computer. |
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I'm sorry I'm late. My dog ate my bong. |
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My dog ate my PowerPoint presentation. |
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My dog ate my psychiatrist, so I don't have a note from him. However, my dog isn't hungry anymore. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my dog likes to hide my car keys. |
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I'm sorry I was absent yesterday, my dog died and we had to bury her. |
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My dog died last night and I've been too upset to do my homework. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my dog ran out the front door as I was leaving and I had to catch him! |
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My dog ate my homework and pooped it out. |
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If you don't ask why I'm late, I won't tell. |
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We have so little time here, I don't want to waste it with homework! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I was trapped by a Jehovah's Witness at my door. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, there was a Mormon at my door who just wouldn't leave. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, there was a salesman at my door who just wouldn't leave. |
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I was detained by the police. The dream police. They beat me mercilessly with their snooze bar. |
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I'm sorry, I'm still feeling ill from the packet of cocaine I swallowed to smuggle across customs. |
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I should be drunk enough by noon to be motivated to come in today. |
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I won't be able to make it, I've contracted dysentery from playing Oregon Trail. |
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I thought this assignment was due on the 21st, not the 12th! |
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I'm not late, I'm just a day early! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had a power outage last night and now my electric car won't start. |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I was busy eloping in a remote Pacific island. |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Follow On Twitter |
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