358 School Excuses
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I feel lucky >
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I won't be able to make it, I'm busy preparing for Elvis' imminent return. |
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I won't be able to make it, my old disease is flaring up and it's embarrassing to talk about. |
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Sorry, had to perform an emergency exorcism. Yeah, I freelance. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got lost pulling off the road for an emergency vehicle. |
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My brother escaped from the asylum, and I need today off to track him down before he kills again. |
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I won't be in today. Why not? My evil leprechaun abductors told me you'd ask that. |
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I'd stay awake in class, but I prefer a good challenge for exams. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a family emergency. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to feed my canary. |
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I don't feel like working, so I'm taking a Ferris Bueller day. |
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I'm all out of pants and, believe me, I'm gonna need a larger fig leaf than this! |
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Listen, you really don't want me more than five feet from a toilet today, trust me. |
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I won't be able to make it, it's Flag Day. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got a flat tire on my way here. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my flight got delayed. |
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I don't understand you -- I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity. |
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I'm sorry I fell asleep in class, I ate too much and went into a food coma. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have food poisoning. |
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I was out cheering for our football team last night, I didn't have time for homework! |
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I forgot my glasses yesterday, I couldn't read the chalkboard to see that we had homework. |
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I won't be able to make it, my friend just croaked and I'm pretty bummed about it. |
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You might say I'm hungover, but I prefer the term "funsick," thank you. |
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I thought today was a furlough day! |
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My goal is to become a game designer, so playing video games seemed like a better use of my time. |
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But the game was on! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my garage door wouldn't open. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, the gate to my gated community wouldn't open. |
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I'm sorry, I'm just genetically predisposed to be late. |
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I'm sorry I didn't do my homework, I'm just genetically predisposed to be lazy. |
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I won't be able to make it, my gerbil is in heat! |
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I'm doing my part today by not coming in, which ensures there will be more work for everyone else. |
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I refuse to kill trees by doing your homework assignments. |
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As I was heading out the door, I was mauled by my dad's gorilla. |
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I'm sorry I'm late -- the only way I can deal with you is after a few stiff drinks. |
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I won't be able to make it, my grandfather just died and today is his funeral. |
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I won't be able to make it today, my grandmother just died and today is her funeral. |
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I won't be coming to school today because my mom grounded me. |
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A groundhog bit my tire, causing it to go flat. |
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I won't be able to make it, it's hailing outside! |
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I tried to dye my hair yesterday... Let's just say I need today off to get it fixed! |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a massive hangover. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a splitting headache. |
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I won't be able to make it, I sprained my neck headbanging at a metal show last night. |
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My hearing aid must have shut off when you assigned that. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm suffering from heatstroke. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my hernia was acting up this morning. |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, the mafia was after me and I needed to disappear. |
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I won't be able to make it, a car hit me as I was crossing the street. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got waylaid by a crazy homeless man on my way here. |
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I'm sorry, I'm allergic to homework. |
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I feel lucky >
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