389 Work Excuses
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The Store |
I feel lucky >
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Sorry I can't make it in today. I promise to pretend to catch up tomorrow, though. |
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I can't work late tonight, I have to get home before my wife changes the locks to my house. |
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Sorry I can't make it, I'm trapped in a Chilean Mine. |
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I'm dressed up as a Chilean Miner for Halloween, so I won't be in for three months. |
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I can't work overtime tonight, I have church. |
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I won't be able to make it, it's Cinco De Mayo. |
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I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday, I was too depressed to get out of bed. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I have a phobia of clocks and other assorted timepieces. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my toilet was clogged. |
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I should have drunk enough coffee by noon to be motivated enough to come in today. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, Starbucks had a long wait. |
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Like I said before, the office is too cold. But then when I build a small fire, you complain! |
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Listen, our conference call sounds fun, but I have a prior commitment stabbing my eyes out. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a conference with my daughter's teacher. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a conference with my son's teacher. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I've been constipated. |
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I can't make it into work today. I plan on convincing myself I'm sick right after I hang up. |
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I have a conflict with my other job, which is a professional couch-bound eater of potato chips. |
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COUGH COUGH SNORK COUGH SNORT KAFF HORRRRRRK SNORRT KAFF! There. Any questions? |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good blouse. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good dress. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good pants. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good shirt. |
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HELLO BOSS TRYING TO FAX MYSELF INTO WORK TODAY DO YOU NEED A COVER SHEET? |
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I'm sorry I'm late, a creepy old man followed me onto the bus and it took forever to lose him. |
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I can't stand that jerk in the next cubicle. Oh, that's you? I meant the jerk in the other cubicle. |
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What if I show up and get cubicle rage? We don't want that. |
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I thought I had today off! |
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I won't be able to make it, daycare closed and I need to watch my kids. |
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I'm not late, I'm observing Daylight Savings Time early. |
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I'd come in, but something came up. A "Days of Our Lives" plot twist, to be precise. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my battery died last night and I had to jumpstart my car. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my battery died on my way here and I had to call a tow truck. |
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Sorry I was late. I was being trained by Obi Wan Kenobi how to eventually take out the Death Star. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, a deer jumped in front of my car and I swerved off the road. |
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I won't be able to make it, I ran out of deodorant. |
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I won't be able to make it, I've been deported. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my usual route was closed for maintenance and I got lost finding my way here. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my daughter gave me a hard time getting her ready for school. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my son gave me a hard time getting him ready for school. |
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What? You expect me to come in on Disaffected Proletariat Day? Well, it's on MY calendar. |
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I have to leave early, I have a doctor appointment at 4:15. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my dog crapped in my shoe. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my dog ate my daughter's homework and I had to rush him to the vet. |
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The dog ate my will to work. |
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I'm sorry I'm late. My dog ate my bong. |
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My dog ate my PowerPoint presentation. |
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My dog ate my psychiatrist, so I don't have a note from him. However, my dog isn't hungry anymore. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my dog ate my son's homework and I had to rush him to the vet. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my dog likes to hide my car keys. |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Follow On Twitter |
The Store |
I feel lucky >
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