389 Work Excuses
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The Store |
I feel lucky >
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A groundhog bit my tire, causing it to go flat. |
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I won't be able to make it, it's hailing outside! |
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I tried to dye my hair yesterday... Let's just say I need today off to get it fixed! |
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Sorry I'm late, I received special handling by the TSA. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a massive hangover. |
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I'm sorry I have to cancel our meeting, one of my other clients' hard drive crashed! |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a splitting headache. |
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I already have a headache. |
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I won't be able to make it, I sprained my neck headbanging at a metal show last night. |
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I know it sounds like a raging kegger in the background. Weird how heart surgery can sound like that |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm suffering from heatstroke. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my hernia was acting up this morning. |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, the mafia was after me and I needed to disappear. |
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I won't be able to make it, a car hit me as I was crossing the street. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got waylaid by a crazy homeless man on my way here. |
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I won't be able to make it, my horse bit me hard. |
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I won't be able to make it, I spilled hot coffee in my lap this morning. |
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I have to leave, my alarm company called and said I'm being robbed! |
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You want me to come in to work? How much is it worth to you? Six dollars an hour? Okay. |
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I WAS at work today. The question is why you only notice me enough NOW to ask why I wasn't at work. |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I've been in jail on false charges and I just got acquitted. |
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I'm celebrating International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I have to pillage a few villages. |
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Can't come in today. Internet is down and I need to wait for the repairman. |
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Why am I staying home today? Well, this way I can surf Internet porn without offending anyone. |
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Sorry I was late, I have an iPhone and the Alarm doesn't go off until tomorrow. |
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My excuses work only if you have AT&T. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to iron my good clothes. |
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Sorry I'm late. My jedi master made me stay late after practice and pick up the lightsabers. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm busy preparing for Jesus' imminent return. |
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I'm sorry I missed my shift, I thought you meant July 29 on the Julian calendar, not Gregorian. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my son thought it would be funny to siphon my gas. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my son thought it would be funny to let the air out of my tires. |
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I'm won't be able to make it, I accidentally left my car keys in the pants I sent to the cleaners. |
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I won't be able to make it, someone kicked me in the groin and I'm in a lot of pain! |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I was kidnapped and I just escaped! |
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Why bother with work when I can just make a sex tape and get famous like Kim Kardashian? |
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I won't be able to make it, I fell out of a tree trying to rescue an adorable kitten. |
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I won't be able to make it, I fell off a ladder and twisted my ankle. |
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I've been pushing myself all day, I don't want to burn out by working late. |
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I won't be able to make it, someone stole my clothes from the laundromat! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to fix my leaky bathroom pipes. |
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I was left for dead in Mexico with three dollars and a watch, and all I got was this lousy excuse. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have leprosy. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to call the police to remove a creepy man lingering outside of my house. |
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I fell into the lion cage at the zoo yesterday and I need today off to get stitches. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got locked out of my house this morning. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I couldn't find the building! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I forgot where I parked my car. |
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I lost that ground ball in the sun. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my contacts. |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Follow On Twitter |
The Store |
I feel lucky >
What's your excuse?
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