389 Work Excuses
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The Store |
I feel lucky >
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my glasses. |
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I won't be able to make it, I lost my toothbrush and I had garlic for breakfast. |
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I've lost my voice, so I won't be able to make it today. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I couldn't find the room! |
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I can't make it, I lost my wallet and I have to spend today at the DMV getting a new license. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my wallet. |
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I think I've got lumbago. It feels just like a hangover, oddly enough. |
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I'm sorry, but my husband is threatening divorce if I don't spend more time with him. |
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I'm sorry, but my wife is threatening divorce if I don't spend more time with her. |
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I have other, as-yet-unspecified plans I'm sure will materialize in due time. |
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Help. I'm being mauled slowly by a very quiet, gentle bear. Help. Please. |
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I'm uncomfortable with the way the men in the office look at me. It's like they expect me to work. |
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I felt like taking a mental health day today, because work is driving me crazy. |
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You left a message for someone named Janet, asking why she wasn't in today. MY NAME IS ANNETTE! |
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I'll be in after 5 today to burn the office down. I mean midnight oil. |
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Listen, I'd just stare at a spreadsheet and play furtive matches of Minesweeper anyway. |
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I'm not coming, I hate people. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I missed the bus. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I missed my flight. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I missed the train. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got lost in the fog and missed the turn. |
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I won't be able to make it, there's mold growing around my house and it's making me sick. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I ran out of coffee this morning. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got caught up in the morning news. |
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I won't be able to work late, I'm a morning person and I don't think well at night. |
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I'll come in, but I need some inspiration. Can you read the motivational posters in the break room? |
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I need today off to move into my new apartment. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I was mugged on my way here! |
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My mugshot has an appointment with the morning news. You'll understand when you see. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I just moved here and I'm still unfamiliar with the area. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have to camp out to get the new game! |
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I won't be able to make it, I have to camp out to get tickets to the new movie! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my newborn daughter kept me up all night. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my newborn son kept me up all night. |
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I won't be able to make it, I think my new piercing is infected. |
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I won't be able to make it, my new tattoo needs time to heal. |
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I won't be coming in to work today. A Nigerian banker is giving me all the money I'll ever need. |
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I'm sorry I was absent yesterday, I don't want to talk about it. |
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I really don't have much of an excuse -- I'm just a screwup. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to trim my nose and ear hair. |
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I'm sick today! No, those aren't slot machines you hear -- I'm watching Jerry Springer from bed! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I have OCD and I cannot leave until the time is an even multiple of 7. |
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I'll come in when we get those office environment improvements. Like, where are those strippers? |
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I'm sorry I'm late. Once you're as old as I am, you'll understand. |
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I won't be able to make it, an old friend just stopped by for a surprise visit. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, an old friend just stopped by and I had to make him feel at home! |
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Damn. I have a scheduling conflict with my oompah band. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to get gas in the car. |
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I'm out smoking. What I want to know is how you noticed that I didn't smoke but not that I was here all day. |
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I'd rather watch the paint dry. |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Follow On Twitter |
The Store |
I feel lucky >
What's your excuse?
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