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389 Work Excuses

I won't be able to make it, I just had a panic attack. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my good pants shrunk in the wash! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I'm terrible at parallel parking. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'll come in if you don't mind me smoking and pacing while I mutter paranoid fantasies to myself. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm in the parking lot, but that's as far as I'll go! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I was absent yesterday, I couldn't find parking. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I was out all night partying. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Oh, I only PENCILED in work today. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
You mean you want me to come in today and waste this perfectly good excuse? Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'm having period cramps. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I need to stay home today to nurse my pet gerbil back to health. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I didn't call in yesterday for sick leave, I forgot the phone number. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to work late tonight, I have to pick up my kids. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it for a few days, I have pinkeye and it's highly contagious. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Ever see that Playboy cartoon where the guy is calling in sick from an S&M dungeon? Oddly enough... Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I was playing online poker and my hand was too good to fold! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I was away at the political protest yesterday. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I popped a tire on my way here. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Can't make it in today. Got post-industrial capitalist malaise. I'm pretty sure I caught it at work. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, someone plastic-wrapped my car. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to work late, someone toilet-papered my house and I have to clean it up. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm not sleeping, I was praying intensely. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I had a premonition that I will get into a car crash today, so I don't feel safe driving to work. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I pulled my back last night. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, there's rain, sleet, and snow outside, and I'm no postman. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Sorry I didn't make it to work. It was rained out. By "it" I mean my enthusiasm. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'm feeling a little dizzy from fasting for Ramadan. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I have a rash. Even there? ESPECIALLY there. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I woke up with a strange rash this morning and I need today off to get it checked out. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
It's not that I don't like to work. On the other hand, no other excuse readily presents itself. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I have better things to do, like rearrange my white socks. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to work late tonight, I'm still recovering from the flu. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I hit every red light on my way here! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I've been absent, I finally checked myself into rehab. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Sorry I'm late, but time is a relative, subjective phenomenon anyway, so let's not make a big deal. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my husband just returned from a tour in Iraq! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Everyone tells me I should take more risks, so I tried skydiving and I broke my leg. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I ran over a squirrel and I had to make sure it was okay. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I just found out that I'm Persian royalty, so I won't be coming to work for a while. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be in today, I'm taking a short sabbatical. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Uh, I hope YOU didn't eat the salmon mousse too! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I was stopped in the street by Sasha Baron Cohen on my way here. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'll be in as soon as I apply just a little bit more soothing talcum powder to my scabies. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I could tell you why I was absent, but then I'd have to kill you. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I could tell you why I'm late, but then I'd have to kill you. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'd rather not work late tonight, one of the night security guards creeps me out. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it today, I just had a seizure and I need to rest for a while. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Look at it this way: I'm sparing you my daily 10% chance of sparking a sexual harassment lawsuit. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I just ate shellfish and I think I'm allergic. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I didn't know I had that shift. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook

What's your excuse?


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