42 Weight Excuses
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I feel lucky >
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I do eat a balanced diet -- both light and dark beer. |
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I'm not fat, I just have big bones. |
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It's okay to eat cookies once they're broken because all the calories have fallen out. |
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I'd exercise but I can't afford gym membership. |
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I may be overweight, but I'm only a child of my environment. |
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There's nothing wrong with enjoying a little comfort food! |
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I can eat whatever I want as long as I stick to diet soda. |
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I didn't eat that ice cream, the dog ate it! |
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I like to keep a little extra fat tissue for emergencies. |
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I don't want to look like an anorexic model anyways. |
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I'm not fat, I'm fluffy. |
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The government will start rationing food soon enough, I'm trying to eat my fill while I still can! |
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Why should I diet when full-figured bodies are coming back into vogue? |
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I'm just genetically predisposed to be overweight. |
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If God intended mankind to be thin, why did He make vegetables taste so bad and Twinkies so good? |
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What do you mean, salads don't have chocolate? |
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Everyone gains weight during the holidays! |
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We can't all be as thin as Keira Knightley. |
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He made a wisecrack about my weight, and where I'm from we don't take insults lightly. |
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I haven't been able to lose weight since my last pregnancy. |
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I had to eat those last cookies, they looked so lonely. |
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The gym kicked me out for grunting too loud and I've been too embarrassed to go back. |
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I don't have enough willpower to stick to a diet, so why bother? |
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A calorie is a measurement of heat, therefore ice cream has zero calories. |
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I wouldn't be able to afford the new clothes I'd need if I lost weight. |
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I can eat whatever I want as long as I watch my portions. |
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It's okay to eat a bar of chocolate before each meal, it softens your appetite. |
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Eating makes me feel like I'm actually accomplishing something. |
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I'm not pigging out, I'm just doing a quality control check. |
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Weight is all relative, so by some standards I'm thin. |
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I'm on a seafood diet. Anything I see, I eat. |
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Look at it, this candy bar is too small to fit calories inside. |
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I just have a slow metabolism. |
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There are starving children in Africa, of course I'm going to eat all my food! |
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I'm under a lot of pressure at work, and desserts is just stressed spelled backwards! |
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I'd love to come to your Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm trying to watch my weight. |
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I'm feeling fat today, so I'm just going to go ahead, stay home and "think thin." |
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I'm too busy to exercise. |
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My body is too old to handle exercise. |
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I'm on TWO diets. Just one doesn't give me enough to eat! |
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I can't exercise, my workout buddy is on vacation. |
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I can't exercise, I don't fit into my workout clothes. |
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