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226 Church Excuses

I'm sorry I'm late, I had high explosives in my bag and airport security interrogated me for hours. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I'm from Alaska so I still follow Alaskan time. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I've been absent, I was abducted by aliens. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I was abducted by aliens. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday, an alien larva burst through my stomach. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I ate at an all-you-can-eat flax seed and oat bran buffet last night. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm getting fitted for my robot claw appendage. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I got punked by Ashton Kutcher. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my asthma is acting up. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm not coming to church, I've become an atheist. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, there's something growing on my foot. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I just got back from Chicago. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
You know how some people have bad hair days? I'm having a bad face day. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I got stung by a bee and now I have hives all over. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'd come to church if they'd let me drink a beer in there once in a while! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I got into a fistfight yesterday and now I have a black eye. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I can't come to church right now, I'm in the middle of a black magic ritual! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, there's practically a blizzard outside of my house! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'm giving blood and I'll need to rest afterward. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I got a bloody nose. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I had to get rid of the body in my trunk. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'd come to church if the Bible weren't so boring. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, someone broke into my house and I had to file a police report. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, my alarm clock broke. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I was pulled over for a broken headlight on my way here. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, the bus got delayed today. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'll be on a business trip. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my water main broke and I can't take a shower. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I couldn't make it yesterday because I was in a car accident. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, my car broke down on my way here. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I got pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I didn't know I was allergic to cats until it was too late. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm not coming to church, after all I've read about Catholic priests! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm not coming to church, I work for the government and I believe in separation of church and state. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm not coming to church, but I'm sure they'll forgive me. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday, I was too depressed to get out of bed. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I have a phobia of clocks and other assorted timepieces. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, my toilet was clogged. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, Starbucks had a long wait. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I've been constipated. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good blouse. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good dress. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good pants. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good shirt. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, a creepy old man followed me onto the bus and it took forever to lose him. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, my battery died last night and I had to jumpstart my car. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, my battery died on my way here and I had to call a tow truck. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, a deer jumped in front of my car and I swerved off the road. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I can't come to church, I'm currently possessed by the demon Baal. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I ran out of deodorant. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook

What's your excuse?


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