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389 Work Excuses

I'm "going" to "work" from "home" "today." Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Sorry I missed work. But if I wanted awkward silences in an alcohol-free atmosphere, I'd attend AA. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Sorry I was late, I was having a bad acid flashback. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I was going to pretend to be sick, but I'm such a good actor, I actually convinced myself I'm sick. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
It's too hot to work. Air conditioning? You really think of everything, don't you? Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I had high explosives in my bag and airport security interrogated me for hours. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I'm from Alaska so I still follow Alaskan time. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I've been absent, I was abducted by aliens. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I was abducted by aliens. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday, an alien larva burst through my stomach. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I ate at an all-you-can-eat flax seed and oat bran buffet last night. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm allergic to Mondays. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I know you think I'm always making excuses for not coming to work. And I can explain why... Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I don't have enough antidepressants to handle working overtime again. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm getting fitted for my robot claw appendage. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Last time I was there, I was forced to work for this arbitrary, imaginary resource called "money." Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Who's going to make me come in? You and what army? Oh yeah. I forgot I work for the Army. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I got punked by Ashton Kutcher. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my asthma is acting up. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, there's something growing on my foot. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I just got back from Chicago. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Of course this design sucks, I'm not Steve Jobs. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
You know how some people have bad hair days? I'm having a bad face day. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
My band has a gig tonight, so I won't be able to work late. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to work late tonight, I have to make sure I'm fresh for my presentation tomorrow. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I got stung by a bee and now I have hives all over. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I don't know. I felt like it. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, there's practically a blizzard outside of my house! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'm giving blood and I'll need to rest afterward. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I got a bloody nose. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I had to get rid of the body in my trunk. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, someone broke into my house and I had to file a police report. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
If you need me so badly, why don't you bring the work to me? Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, my alarm clock broke. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I was pulled over for a broken headlight on my way here. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'll come in if you upgrade my broom closet to a cubicle. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, the bus got delayed today. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be coming to the company holiday party, I can't stand business casual. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I'll be on a business trip. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, my favorite breakfast restaurant sure was busy today! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, my water main broke and I can't take a shower. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I don't care if it IS Canadian, the calendar says it's a holiday and I'm taking it! Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I couldn't make it yesterday because I was in a car accident. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Can't come in today. My car battery and initiative are dead. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, my car broke down on my way here. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Listen, do you want me to reduce the company's carbon footprint by staying at home or don't you? Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I got pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I'm sorry I'm late, I just have a bad case of the Mondays. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
Hey, it's casual Friday. I thought I'd, you know, casually not show up. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook
I won't be able to make it, I didn't know I was allergic to cats until it was too late. Share On Facebook Share On Twitter Share on Messenger Facebook

What's your excuse?


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