340 Dating Excuses
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I feel lucky >
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I'd love to go out with you, but it turns out we're cousins. |
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I'm sorry, it's against my religion to have sex while I'm married. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had high explosives in my bag and airport security interrogated me for hours. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I'm from Alaska so I still follow Alaskan time. |
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I was abducted by aliens. |
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I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday, an alien larva burst through my stomach. |
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I ate at an all-you-can-eat flax seed and oat bran buffet last night. |
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I'm sorry, I'm married. |
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I'm not interested in sex, I'm asexual like Morrissey. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got punked by Ashton Kutcher. |
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I won't be able to make it, my asthma is acting up. |
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I won't be able to make it, there's something growing on my foot. |
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I won't be able to make it, I can't find a babysitter. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I just got back from Chicago. |
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You know how some people have bad hair days? I'm having a bad face day. |
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I just got out of a bad relationship, I don't think I'm ready for another yet. |
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I won't be able to make it, I got stung by a bee and now I have hives all over. |
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No amount of beer in the world would make me want to date you. |
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We can't have sex, not after that argument you started today! |
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We can't have sex, it's not your birthday yet. |
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I won't be able to make it, I got into a fistfight yesterday and now I have a black eye. |
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I won't be able to make it, there's practically a blizzard outside of my house! |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm giving blood and I'll need to rest afterward. |
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I won't be able to make it, I got a bloody nose. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to get rid of the body in my trunk. |
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I'm holding out for Brad Pitt. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, someone broke into my house and I had to file a police report. |
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I won't be able to make our date tonight, I broke a nail. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I was pulled over for a broken headlight on my way here. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, the bus got delayed today. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'll be on a business trip. |
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Let me check my calendar, I'll call you back. |
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I won't be able to make it, my water main broke and I can't take a shower. |
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I couldn't make it yesterday because I was in a car accident. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my car broke down on my way here. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane. |
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I won't be able to make it, I didn't know I was allergic to cats until it was too late. |
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I'm sorry, I'm sworn to celibacy. |
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I work for the CIA, I wouldn't want to jeopardize your safety by getting into a relationship. |
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I won't be able to make it, it's Cinco De Mayo. |
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I'm sorry, but I don't have sex with uncircumcised men. |
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I'm sorry, I'll be busy cleaning the gun from my date last night. |
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I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday, I was too depressed to get out of bed. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I have a phobia of clocks and other assorted timepieces. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my toilet was clogged. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, Starbucks had a long wait. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I've been constipated. |
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I'm sorry, I only date cougars. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good blouse. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good dress. |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 | Follow On Twitter |
The Store |
I feel lucky >
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