340 Dating Excuses
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I feel lucky >
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good pants. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to find my good shirt. |
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I won't have sex until you come with me to couple's therapy. |
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I'd love to go out with you, as long as you can deal with my crazy ex! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, a creepy old man followed me onto the bus and it took forever to lose him. |
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I'm sorry, my friend dared me to turn down the next person who asked me out. |
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I'd go out with you, but I prefer a challenge. |
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I'll ask my parole officer if I'm allowed to go out. |
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I won't be able to make it, daycare closed and I need to watch my kids. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my battery died last night and I had to jumpstart my car. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my battery died on my way here and I had to call a tow truck. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, a deer jumped in front of my car and I swerved off the road. |
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I won't be able to make it, I ran out of deodorant. |
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I won't be able to make it, I've been deported. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my usual route was closed for maintenance and I got lost finding my way here. |
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Sorry I didn't call you back. I just really didn't want to. |
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I'm sorry, but my dildo pleasures me so much better than you do. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my dog crapped in my shoe. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my dog likes to hide my car keys. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my dog ran out the front door as I was leaving and I had to catch him! |
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I saw you, but I just don't like you. |
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Let's not have sex, I don't want to hurt you again. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I was trapped by a Jehovah's Witness at my door. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, there was a Mormon at my door who just wouldn't leave. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, there was a salesman at my door who just wouldn't leave. |
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I'm sorry, I must have double booked myself! |
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I won't be able to meet you tonight, my good dress must have shrunk in the wash! |
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Sorry, I'm have an appointment on the corner to buy some crack. |
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I'd love to start a relationship with you as long as you can fund my chronic drug habits. |
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I was drunk when I said I'd go out with you. |
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I can't make it then, my parents are dying and I need to be with them. |
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I won't be able to make it, I've contracted dysentery from playing Oregon Trail. |
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We can't have sex, I need to get up early tomorrow. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have to fix my house after the huge earthquake last night. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had a power outage last night and now my electric car won't start. |
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I won't be able to make it, my old disease is flaring up and it's embarrassing to talk about. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got lost pulling off the road for an emergency vehicle. |
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I have erectile dysfunction, and I'm out of Viagra. |
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I can't make it that day, I have an exorcism scheduled then! |
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Based on your Facebook profile, I don't think we'd get along. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a family emergency. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to feed my canary. |
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I'd love to go out with you! I'll bring my five kids, they haven't been out of the house in weeks. |
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I won't be able to make it, it's Flag Day. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got a flat tire on my way here. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my flight got delayed. |
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I'm sorry, I was just flirting with you to catch your friend's eye. |
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I don't understand you -- I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity. |
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At this point in my life I'm trying to focus on my career, I don't have time for dating. |
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At this point in my life I'm trying to focus on my studies, I don't have time for dating. |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 | Follow On Twitter |
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I feel lucky >
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