389 Work Excuses
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The Store |
I feel lucky >
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I need a day off to recover from my terrible ordeal. |
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The bartender wouldn't let me leave. |
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I'm feeling fat today, so I'm just going to go ahead, stay home and "think thin." |
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I have obsessive compulsive disorder. I respond only after the third phone call. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I accidentally set my clock back an hour instead of forward. |
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I won't be coming in today, I have to stay home to Tivo the finale of my favorite soap. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my toilet overflowed and I had to clean it up. |
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I'll be in late today. Really late. So late it might seem like tomorrow morning. |
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I won't be able to work overtime, I have non-refundable tickets to a show tonight. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my toupee wouldn't cooperate this morning! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, the traffic was horrible. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I tripped and twisted my ankle walking to my car. |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I recently developed a condition where I sprout thick fur from my face. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'll be on vacation in Bermuda. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'll be on vacation in London. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'll be on vacation in Vancouver. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I've had an unfortunate incident and I don't want to talk about it. |
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I've got big plans! Big, vague plans. Big, vague plans that are suddenly withering to your questions. |
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I tried to make it, but I'm a vampire and couldn't get into the building without an invitation. |
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I was bitten by a vampire, so the day shift is out of the question. Night shift? Maybe. |
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I'm vegetarian and my friend pranked me by putting meat in my food, so now I'm too sick to work. |
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If I see that cubicle, I'll vomicle. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to walk the dog. |
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By not coming into the office today, I'm supporting the war on error. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to water my plants. |
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AAACH BOSS CAN'T COME IN ARRGH TURNING INTO WEREWOLF AROOOO! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I had to help someone with his whatchamacallit. |
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Sorry I won't be in today. … You're really into this whole work thing, aren't you? |
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You may ask why I was absent. I'd rather ask, "why not?" |
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You may ask why I'm late. I'd rather ask, "Why not?" |
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Let's be honest. I'm Wiccan. People don't like me anyway. |
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There's something in the office I think I'm allergic to. I think it's the work. |
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I worked late last night working on this excuse. |
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I'll be busy at the World Communist Convention plotting ways to overthrow bourgeoisie, like you. |
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Boss can you hear me yeah sorry about the noise yeah spacetime wormhole thing going on here. |
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I don't have the right clothes for that job. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got lost and missed the turn. |
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I thought no one would notice. |
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You'll never believe what happened! And you shouldn't either, cause I'm about to make it up. |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Follow On Twitter |
The Store |
I feel lucky >
What's your excuse?
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