358 School Excuses
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I feel lucky >
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I had a premonition that I will get into a car crash today, so I don't feel safe driving to school. |
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My goal is to become a pro athlete, so playing sports seemed like a better use of my time. |
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I won't be able to make it, I pulled my back last night. |
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I won't be able to make it, there's rain, sleet, and snow outside, and I'm no postman. |
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I'm too upset about the destruction of the world's rainforests to focus on my homework. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm feeling a little dizzy from fasting for Ramadan. |
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I have a rash. Even there? ESPECIALLY there. |
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I woke up with a strange rash this morning and I need today off to get it checked out. |
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I'm still recovering from surgery and I didn't have enough energy to do my homework. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I hit every red light on my way here! |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I finally checked myself into rehab. |
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Sorry I'm late, but time is a relative, subjective phenomenon anyway, so let's not make a big deal. |
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I was too hungry from my religious fast to focus on my homework. |
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I'm sorry I fell asleep, I'm fasting for religious reasons and I don't have much energy. |
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My dad just got back from a tour in Iraq, so I didn't have time to finish my homework. |
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I won't be able to make it, my dad is finally returning from a tour in Iraq! |
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Everyone tells me I should take more risks, so I tried skydiving and I broke my leg. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I ran over a squirrel and I had to make sure it was okay. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I was sagging my pants and I couldn't walk very fast. |
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Uh, I hope YOU didn't eat the salmon mousse too! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I was stopped in the street by Sasha Baron Cohen on my way here. |
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I could tell you why I was absent, but then I'd have to kill you. |
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I could tell you why I'm late, but then I'd have to kill you. |
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I found a secret tunnel under my house and I ended up spending all night exploring it. |
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I won't be able to make it today, I just had a seizure and I need to rest for a while. |
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I won't be able to make it, I just ate shellfish and I think I'm allergic. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have to clean my shower grout. |
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My dad accidentally mixed my homework into his pile of documents to shred. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my big brother beat me up this morning! |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm having bad side effects from my new medicine. |
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I got stuck in the shower. Once you start whistling Handel's "Messiah," you really have to finish it |
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I won't be able to make it, a skunk sprayed me as I was walking to my car. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I suffered sleep paralysis for hours this morning. |
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I won't be able to make it, I accidentally took my sleeping pills instead of my vitamins. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I sliced my finger making breakfast and had to clean up. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I was stuck behind a slow driver the whole way here. |
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I'm sorry this assignment is late, my Internet connection has been especially slow. |
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There's a rattlesnake hiding in my lawn, and I'm afraid it'll bite me if I leave for my car. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm snowed in to my house. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my car got snowed in. |
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I wanted to stay home today and indulge my fantasy of being a stay-at-home soap opera critic. |
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Why are you mad at me for something I didn't do?! |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got something in my eye on the way here. |
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I need a day off to reflect on my life and truly find myself. |
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I could go through the motions of sounding sick, but I respect your intelligence enough to just lie. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got caught in a gash in the space-time continuum. |
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I sent you the email, it must have gotten lost in your spam filter. |
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My homework may be late, but my mom still says I'm special. |
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Someone must have put something in my drink last night, I've been groggy and nauseous this morning. |
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I have split personality disorder, the OTHER me was sleeping! |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Follow On Twitter |
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I feel lucky >
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